How do you write a first post without sounding utterly trite and cheesy? Its fine with some of the novelty blogs that I was just browsing through, and all the uber cool people who are so edgy that whatever they type sounds laidback and fresh and original! Can I really start my first post with 'These are my aims for 2008'? Eeek! But..erm..yeah. That's the point of this whole thing. I want somewhere to get all my muddled thoughts laid out and organised, firstly because I'll forget them if I don't, secondly because once they are down here they are 'more real' and thirdly, like I said in the other section, I do want to be able to come back to this next year and see what I have achieved. I think the fear of looking back in a year's time and not having really established these changes in my life will spur me on. I don't want to be back here saying 'ah well, I messed up in 2008, but there's always 2009. This has to be my year. I'll be 29 this year. I don't want to turn 30 and still be such a dizzy, unorganised oaf! And I certainly don't want to be fat, spending another year feeling like a carthorse!

So...here are my New Year Resolutions..if you can call them that.

1. Lose 3 stones. I know, how painfully cliche. But I do need to lose this weight. I have lost so much confidence since putting this weight on. I was so self conscious at this year's Christmas parties, I didn't want to get up and dance and that is just not me. I felt the ugliest out of all my friends, who seem to be improving and growing into their selves as we grow up, while I feel like I peaked at 21 and have gone downhill all the way since! So..I have started Weightwatchers (again) with a vengeance this time, and I think a lot of this blog is going to be about the diet. Its the centre of everything. If I feel good about how I look other things will change too. I know it.

2. NO more debt, and make significant inroads into paying off my credit card balance. Its so big that I can't even write it here! Or can I? The whole point of this year and this blog is to get honest with myself. Right. Its just under £6k. And I have a personal loan as well, but not so bothered about that, as its fixed and I know when it will be gone. My Mum has custody of my credit card, so just need to rip up the cheques that the hateful bank have sent to me. Every time I reach my credit card limit they up it by at least a grand. They want me in hock to them for the rest of my life. Well its not happening.

3. Keep a tidy, clean house. I know, I know. A clean house is a wasted life..spend time having fun, not tidying up. Well, I have been, and its made me miserable. Getting up in the morning knowing you have no fresh clothes ready for work. Eating stodgy takeaway AGAIN because you are too lazy to cook. Going into an utterly wasted junkyard of a spare room. It all depresses me. I spend forever cleaning up and it never really works because I have no routine. So this month, January, is for getting sorted out. I'm skint anyway, so may as well stay in and get the place in order. And lets see if I can keep it that way.

4. Ride Mags at least twice a week and get us both working nicely in walk, trot and canter. Mags is the horse that I get to help out with. His owner has two horses and Mags was semi retired before I came along. He's not fit, and I've had a tough time getting to know him, but this year I want us to really make some progress. By this time next year I want to feel a much better rider, and I want Mags to be muscly and fit.

5. Be organised with my money. Need I say anymore?! I am the Queen of bank charges.

6. Make more of an effort to keep in proper contact with my friends, especially with Leanne and Lisa. And just as much with the girls who are close by. I know I'd need them if something went wrong...I just feel that its getting harder for me to find common ground with some of them. I have nothing to contribute to some of their conversations, and I don't know if its because I am not interested, or because I haven't made the effort to know what is happening in their lives.

7. Make sure that Paul and I go on holiday this summer. Its been too long. We need a break in a totally different environment to really chill out and recharge our batteries.


So that's it...reading them all makes it hit home how completely run of the mill and ordinary they sound. But these are the things that would make big changes in my life. Writing them down has made me feel positive, and kind of raring to go with the whole year. I don't want to wish it away, but I know it will go so quickly, and I am already thinking how good it will be if I can just come back and mark off each of these and say 'I did that'. Fingers crossed.
xxx