Gaaaaah, I have neglected the blog for ages!
Not that anyone is actually reading it...I am thinking now of switching this over onto maybe the multiply sites, as that seems to be where the other 3+ bloggers all hang out! And it would be nice to feel part of a weight loss community! But still..the real point of the blog is just for me, to track how far I come and to look back at come this Christmas, hopefully with a real sense of achievement.
So..can't remember if I posted this already, but holiday is now booked!
We are off to Berlin on the 4th of June for a week, and I really can't wait. Its going to be fantastic. Just trying hard to set a goal weight for the week. I know that I would like it to be 10st 7lbs, which is just over a stone, but I'm still wary of setting that goal, as when I'm working on a target more than half a stone away, I seem to be a bit rubbish! Soo..next goal is 11st. I weighed in yesterday at 11st8, which was just fantastic, as it brought me into the healthy BMI range! Woop! Saying that, I ate like a demon all weekend and all yesterday, so I do know that had I weighed in this morning, I probably would have been a couple of pounds heavier! For once I didn't bounce straight onto the scale - I don't want to see the damage that has been done! My plan is to stick absolutely to plan all week and all through the weekend, and then hopefully I will either get an STS or a loss. My goal was to get to 11st7lb for Easter, I then revised that to by the end of March, so if I could get a wee pound off this week it would be really fab. Then goal after that is 11st. Not sure yet when I am aiming to get there for. Certainly by the end of April.

It dawned on me this weekend that I am now halfway through my weight loss journey - one and a half stones off, one and a half to go. It hasn't been so difficult, not really. I've managed a few takeaways and nights out, I've never had a week without a glass or two of wine. Its proven to me that I can live like this, and that I will keep the weight off this time. I'm now the lightest I've been since around Christmas 2004 - can't believe 4 years have gone past of me being unhappy with my body - but really, who am I kidding, I don't know when I have ever been happy with my body. I hated it at camp, but all I am hoping for just now is to comfortably fit into the shorts I wore then! I hated it at uni, but if I ever get into my grey flares again I will feel tiny! And maybe this time I will be happy with myself. Maybe I'll believe I'm not fat! This is a dangerous time for me really, as I'm heading into weights and clothes sizes that I have not been comfortable in for so long, there is a temptation to say 'OK, that's me, I am a natural size 14 and a size 14 I will stay. But no..I want to be a 10, I really, really want to be a 10! I can't help it. I want to be able to buy all the clothes that I see and like, without worrying about looking stupid in them, or not fitting into them. I want to look good in my riding clothes..so many wee things!
Well..just about to have lunch, so will leave it there.
Oh..one last thing..seriously contemplating joining the gym. I never thought gyms were for me, I mocked them and said I could get as much excercise as I needed walking, cycling and riding! But I'm really feeling now that I would enjoy the routine, and more so, I would enjoy the pool and spa! So thinking about it..very expensive though!